yeah. that's a math joke.
but the joke is really on the parrotprofit in the office:
fashion faux pas #1.
alarm fails to go off. shower, thank god. throw on "appropriate" dress. bike to work...
minutes later, as the boss is kinesthetically instructing molly on how to go about completing the requested research task, she stands behind as molly bends over to use the computer. "can i zip your dress up?", the boss asks. molly dies.
wonder blunder #2.
after a morning swim (actually, aqua jog), molly reaches into her backpack for the business casual of the day. among the treasures there she finds there is one thing missing: a bra. she is late for work. she carried a large obama sign in front of her chest all the live-long day.
very embraassing #3.
molly remembered her bra the next day. running late to yoga, she decides to change in the office and in her hurry, does not close the door between her and her boss. she doesn't think much of this as her boss is currently running an errand and rarely visits molly's office anyway. just as molly has removed her shirt, her boss breezes through the door talking about the mail. mid-sentence, she peaks up from the mail pile to see molly in only her bra and immediately turns around and does not mention the wild inappropriateness of the scene. molly runs to yoga.
fashion fuck: pause #4.
after a morning swim (actually, aqua jog), molly reaches into her backpack for the business casual of the day. among the treasures there she finds: a bandana print red button down collared shirt, a high-waisted beige knee length skirt, and white fringed boots -- a veritable cowgirl costume. was it not cowgirl themed work day? no, it was not.
hopefully the last of it -- lucky #5.
in trying to make up for the cowgirl costume fiasco, molly wears an all black number. a button-up long sleeve black dress and black shoes. mid-day as she is just walking around for some rare leg usage, the chest button pops off (the dress wasn't even tight!). she is left with a plunging neckline that extends dangerously close to her belly-button. she flips out, runs back to her office, and pieces together a string of pins to patch up the problem...
honestly?
lessons learned: avoid things with zippers, buttons and/or fringe. always have a bra. and, when in doubt, keep a large obama sign handy and a bucketful of pins.
